When we think about work, we often focus on vision and strategy. We also consider goals, performance, and processes. For most of us, the workplace is a place where we have human relationships. The social world, which is complex and difficult to predict, makes it more difficult for people and relationships to be successful at work. While bureaucracy is complex, it’s mostly understandable and simple.
Most people can learn a new procedure in a few short days. Many of us damage workplace relationships because of a lack of skills or by not paying enough attention.
Here are five ways that we can damage our professional relationships, and in the process, make it less productive for us and others.
People are less likely to respect someone who is too weak to commit through relationships.
1. Pull rank
It is your responsibility as a manager to provide guidance, clarify directions, and make decisions. Such duties can be best performed through influence. People will follow you if you have a good understanding of what you’re doing and are acting in their best interests.
Pulling rank means to push ahead with your agenda, even if your only power is in your position or role. People are less likely to respect someone who is too weak to gain commitment through relationships, knowledge, and competence. It is possible that colleagues will do what they are told but still harbour resentment.
2. Naysay any idea
New ideas and plans are constantly being generated in the workplace. Many of these ideas may appear dangerous, horrible or even pointless. Any person with half a brain should be able to ask questions, think critically and not jump on the latest tech or political bandwagon.
Negativity drains all energy, including yours, and you will be avoided by colleagues if they perceive you as a negative person. Pessimism is a bad attitude that makes work more difficult. It also encourages stagnation. Saying no when you know a better way to solve a problem is acceptable.
3. Indulge in gossip
While informal conversation is important, gossiping – making sensational or untrue comments about other people – can be detrimental to everyone. Your chatter will eventually reach the person you are talking to, as it quickly becomes gossip.
The unspoken message of gossip is that you are desperate to make friends at any cost. They may laugh or join in but they know that one day, if you gossip, you will also gossip about them.
4. Break promises
Every day, you make promises to yourself at work. You commit to achieving your goals by walking into the building or turning on the video.
You can also be more personal: follow-up on conversations, send an email, share a problem or ‘get back’ to someone. Neglecting formal or informal responsibilities is a breach of integrity. It damages trust and creates a rift between you and your colleagues.
5. Hypocrisy is a dangerous trap
People are drawn to people who have a positive outlook on the future, and a plan for getting there. Today, it’s less about processes and systems and more about behavior and interpersonal relationships.
To damage relationships at work, you can fall short of standards that you set or those which others are expected to meet. Hypocrisy is more than just a broken promise. It raises fundamental moral questions.
Four commitments can help you build and protect trusting relationships at work.
Avoiding these five behaviors is one way to improve your interactions. Four commitments can help you build and protect trusting relationships in the workplace.
Take the time to learn about the needs of other people. Understand what they need to succeed and how they can feel at home in the workplace. Everybody has a part to play in making others feel welcome.
Consider how your words, actions, and behaviors might be perceived by others. Be aware of signals such as body language, lack of response (or the absence thereof), and words that indicate discomfort or unease. Do more of what people find comfortable.
Reflect on how you communicate with others based on what you have learned about their needs and experiences. Think about what you could do differently to build trust and strengthen relationships.
Be aware that when we are at ease within ourselves, we can form better relationships. While you may have to blend in with your community, find the courage to assert yourself and stand up for what you need.
Relationships at work can be easily sabotaged. These connections are important if you want to be happy at work and achieve desired results. Invest in your own development, in learning and in becoming more aware.
