The Art of Conversations
Conversations. Conversations are essential.
Conversations can be extremely useful and powerful. They allow us to build relationships, share information and better understand one another in our professional and personal lives.
Effective conversations require more than just being genuine. They require empathy, conversational body-language, and authenticity. To master the art of conversation, you need to have a strong understanding of active listening skills, common ground and emotional intelligence. This article offers practical tips and strategies to improve these conversational skills.
The foundation: Building Authentic Relationship
In conversation, being authentic means being yourself. You cannot pretend to be someone you are not in an authentic conversation. It’s hard to build meaningful relationships if you don’t act your true self.
Being authentic can have many benefits. It builds trust and fosters deeper connections. When someone can see that you are genuine and authentic, it makes them more likely to connect and trust you.
It can be challenging to cultivate authenticity, because people aren’t accustomed to being open with others. It’s never too late to start cultivating authenticity.
Practice mindfulness in your daily life. Pay attention to everything you do and consider how it impacts others. Congruence is achieved by being engaged and present in your conversations. Match your body language, expressions and your conversation to demonstrate your commitment and reinforce your arguments. Don’t shut yourself off. Vulnerability can be difficult, but it creates more genuine conversations and deeper connections.
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Skip Small Talk:
Asking about the weather can cause awkward silences in which people try to find something to say. Avoid small talk if you’re looking to have genuine conversations.
Small talk is appropriate in certain situations. This is a good way to start a conversation. However, be ready to switch to a more authentic, interesting topic.
Breaking the mold is the easiest way to move from small talk to genuine conversation. Segue from the weather to a different topic when someone mentions it. You don’t even know what football is? Someone brought up the subject of a football match. Do not just grunt and nod. You can ask them to explain the game to you. Do not be afraid to be funny or flip the script.
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Eye contact:
It is important to maintain eye contact during a conversation. How often have you had a conversation with someone who did not look at you during the conversation? What did you think? Do not be that person. Do not stare into someone’s face for the whole conversation. Eye contact is important to make people feel heard and comfortable.
Shift your gaze to make eye contact. Every 5 to 7 seconds, break eye contact and look somewhere else. You could look at their nose, chin, hair, clothing, or anything else in the background.
Not all cultures treat eye contact in the same manner. Eye contact can be considered rude in many Asian cultures.
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Body Language and Its Role:
Body language is essential to engaging and authentic conversations.
The body language enhances verbal communication, making you seem more involved in the conversation. This also shows that you’re interested in what they have to say. Crossing your arms, for example, can make you appear closed-off.
There is a wealth of resources to help you learn about body language and interpret it. A simple Google search can give you a good idea about how to start.
Active Listening: The Power of Active Listening
Active listening is a great way to build rapport and understand your conversation partners. However, you need to be fully engaged. If you’re distracted, even just a little, then you’re not really listening. Multitasking and the use of technology are two common listening barriers.
Technology is a trap that encourages multitasking. It is common to use phones while talking to others. Even if you only do this for a moment, it signals that you’re not interested in what they are saying.
Active listening is enhanced by paraphrasing or summarizing. In order to paraphrase, you must repeat what the speaker has just said in your own words. It shows that you are paying attention and can prompt the speaker to elaborate on what they have said.
Active listening also includes mindfulness and empathy. It involves being aware of your surroundings, living in the moment and focusing on what is being said. Empathy puts you in someone else’s shoes. By being empathetic you can better understand the conversation partner and their point of view.
Common Ground
Tired of small-talk? Here are some tips to help you lead the conversation more naturally and authentically.
People who have something in common are more likely than those with nothing to connect. Find common ground to move the conversation past small talk. For example, sharing an interest such as reading or a passion for cars with someone gives you room to discuss those things. Ironically, one of the best ways to find common ground is by starting a conversation with small talk. Ask them about their interests or hobbies. Talk more about the common interest you share.
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Bridging Differences :
Politics and religion come to mind as topics of conversation that can be difficult. Don’t get defensive or angry if you disagree with someone or they disagree with you. This will only create barriers and disrupt the conversation. Be respectful and open-minded. Ask someone why they believe what they do. Don’t hesitate to apologize and don’t forget that you may not be able change anyone’s mind.
It’s not just difficult conversations that happen in person. Disagreements can be difficult to handle on social media or over the phone. Texting is also a difficult way to communicate. The use of virtual conversational media is tricky, as words are only one part of the communication. Body language, facial expressions, and tone also play a role.
The Importance Emotional Intelligence
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Understanding Emotions:
Communication is greatly affected by emotions. A person who is angry will communicate differently than a person who is calm, and it’s not in a positive way. They may be impatient or irritable. It is important to recognize and control your negative emotions, and those of others so that they don’t interfere with a productive discussion. To avoid an escalation, remain calm and respectful. If the other person seems irritable or tired, try to show empathy and understand their situation.
Overcoming Conversation Challenges:
There are also more mundane challenges, such as awkward silences or interruptions, that can be encountered. You can build relationships with people of different backgrounds by overcoming these communication barriers.
Thankfully, awkward silences can be overcome easily. Awkward silences are usually four seconds or longer and occur at the end or after a story or topic is exhausted. All parties feel awkward when they occur. Silences are not always painful, but they can be. Awkward moments of silence are not always the fault of either party. During these times, everyone is trying to find something to say. Think of conversation starters and don’t panic.
Another barrier to conversation is interruptions. Don’t let someone get away with interrupting you repeatedly and making it difficult for you to speak. You can tell them to stop, ignore their interruption, or ask them to allow you to finish your story or thought.
Conclusion
It’s not easy to master the art of conversation. Many complex concepts and ideas must work together for a great conversation. Having great conversations requires continuous learning and practicing. It has been proven that people who are the happiest have large social networks. Conversations flow more naturally if you master the following: active listening, authenticity, emotional intelligence, finding common grounds, and authentic listening.
