All of us must deal with people we find difficult, whether they are colleagues or external stakeholders. This article explores conflicts that can arise when different perspectives on the world are taken. The second article, published on the 7th of November, will examine situations in which behaviour is toxic. It is important to make a distinction.
Our core values are shaped by our experiences, mainly in childhood. They are reflected in the way we view the world, our personal and professional relationships, and how we behave. Values are not material things, but they have a huge impact on our identity and behavior.
Different values can cause frustration in the workplace, even if we don’t always realize it. There are many ‘diagnostics,’ which examine our work values, traits and preferences. The Strengths Deployment Inventory (SDI) is a great tool for individuals and teams.
Three reasons of people, process and performance
We all share three core values or’motivations’ in the SDI: Process, Performance, and People. People whose primary motive is Performance (Red), are motivated to achieve goals and get results. They like to set targets and take decisive action.
People (Blue), the motivation of individuals, is to protect and grow other people. The Process (Green), on the other hand, is about creating order and thinking through things; these individuals are practical and fair.
The three motives are equally prominent in the “Hub”, where some of us live.
We care about many different things. Conflict arises when we feel that a colleague’s or stakeholder’s actions don’t reflect what is important to us.
We are most likely to face a conflict of values when dealing with ‘difficult people’.
When values conflict
Andrew (Red), on the other hand, wants to get rid of all redundancies so that everyone can return to work. Joanne (Green), on the other hand, is concerned about the due process and risk reduction: she thinks Andrew is a bad guy while he believes she’s a petty bloke.
Charlotte (Blue), on the other hand, is worried about how layoffs are going to affect families. Joanne’s bureaucracy is the reason why the company doesn’t make money. Andrew is a fool because he didn’t see that sales targets can not be met when the people are unhappy.
Some workplace disagreements are simply a result of differing rational opinions. For example, deciding whether to put the company logo to the left or to right or planning a client event. When it comes to dealing with ‘difficult people’, the conflict is likely to be a clash in values.
People may feel that their values are being ignored when they disagree on a simple question at work, such as when to start layoffs. Negative emotions such as anger, frustration and discomfort can lead to broken relationships. We become “difficult” people.
How to handle interpersonal conflict
The SDI diagnosis reveals how we deal with interpersonal conflict. Each of us goes through a series of stages, trying to understand the situation, express our opinion, or accommodate others.
Based on our experiences working with teams and individuals, we have identified three ways to reduce conflict between people and, when issues do occur, minimize their effects.
1. Positive intent
While interpersonal conflict can feel like a personal attack, it is important to recognize that the efforts of individuals to remain true to their values are based on positive intentions. We all want to keep our values in the workplace, and beyond.
Different ways can be used to acknowledge inevitable differences. When things are going well, build meaningful relationships with colleagues to learn what they value. When temperatures are rising, stop and ask questions. Listen with an open-minded mind.
2. Understanding yourself
I feel that my focus on performance is the best way to navigate through the world. For colleagues with other motives, I’m just another bull in a china shop.
Understanding our own values, and how they are expressed at work, is crucial. It is important to understand our own values and how they play out at work. Asking yourself, “How will those who view the world differently feel about what I say and do?” is an important step in developing leadership strength.
If we don’t take advantage of the different interests and viewpoints of people, then there is no point in working within an organisation.
3. Harness team motivations
Use positive intentions and self-awareness as the foundation to understand how different values can be productive when people work together. In a world that is complex and constantly changing, a blended approach can be particularly valuable.
A business that follows:
- Red: Ambitious results
- Diverse needs of colleagues (Blue)
- Structured and fair (Green )…
Will have a solid bottom line, motivated and productive teams and a firm grip on its future.
Dialog between individuals and groups is the key to success. This chorus of voices can help the company adapt to changing environmental conditions.
Which one is the “difficult” one?
Sincerly, it is pointless to work in an organisation if we do not take advantage of the different interests and viewpoints of the people. But for many, our strong motives can blind us to other methods and the people who support them.
We can stop being “difficult” when we understand the valid motives of our colleagues and stakeholders. This also allows us to judge others fairly, and everyone can achieve their goals through relationships.
